BAI KUKE, CAMEROON – Frida Nembe, 61, was an eloquent and wise woman for the Bai Kuke, a town of one’s Balong tribe inside southwestern Cameroon. In the past, she turned a beneficial “female spouse.”
She states that her just child together with her late partner passed away, and she try don’t able to find expecting. So she became a partner by herself, a woman spouse.
“While i got hitched to my late husband, I provided birth to just one child exactly who died a few years later,” Nembe states. “It is for this reason which i hitched my spouse thus you to definitely she’s going to incur an infant who’ll inherit my personal assets when i perish.”
Nembe claims she performed the conventional rites one to a person carry out would to get married a female in order to wed their unique partner, who had been off a unique Balong town.
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“I decided to go to their town, satisfied her individuals and you may reduced their own complete dowry,” she claims. “Then i put their own to my household to call home beside me and you can sustain children in my own term.”
She states you to definitely Balong customs allows women in order to marry for other feamales in instances when women can be bare or do not have youngsters. Also women who want even more youngsters however they are struggling to consider them can get wed other women.
Nembe states that the female adhere to conventional gender opportunities. The brand new childbirth lady gets this new wife regarding the relationship, as the other woman will act as a woman spouse.
“My spouse is meant to remain in my house, build pupils in my situation, assist me in cleaning and you can farmwork,” she says. “She is meant to serve me personally such as for example a partner should suffice her partner, and i also commonly therefore cure their particular instance a spouse will be eliminate their wife. I’m designed to take obligation of their unique needs.”
One another spouses and their feminine husbands have the liberty yet men outside the relationship. But Nembe says one to a sincere wife is going to be choosy on the newest men who she dates also be open from the all of them with their particular feminine spouse, who can end up being the “father” of any children you to definitely result from their unique wife’s extramarital connections.
“Feminine married like this feel the liberty to determine people people which they respect as well as have expecting,” she says. “But, such female don’t need to share with the fresh dudes it bed with that he’s accountable for the new pregnancy, however, if it get pregnant, while the child might be the child regarding their own [female] husband.”
She states any people who claims to function as the dad regarding a baby need to take on which culture. Students take the surnames of their female fathers.
“In the event the for any reason one turns up to help you say that such as for instance an infant try their,” she says, “he’s got to pay straight back the whole dowry of your woman alarmed.”
“My spouse concerned household and said she will maybe not manage to stick with me,” she says. “She told she wants to come back to their unique somebody. I let her wade, however, I don’t consider she actually is however my partner due to the fact she fru bulgarisk no longer is in my house, and you may she actually is bringing youngsters at random in her own community.”
Nembe states one to she doesn’t consider those individuals people given that hers since their own former spouse provided birth to them beyond her family having unfamiliar dudes. She says she regrets marrying their particular.
“I ought to has investigated well before getting partnered to this girl,” Nembe says during the a minimal build. “I should enjoys acquired married in order to a lady who’ll regard me at every given go out. We feel dissapointed about shedding to your completely wrong give.”